I sense something new is happening; something that feels fresh in the midst of great pain, sadness, confusion, heartache, and shattered dreams. I feel an aliveness, and a connectedness to my own heart, to others, and to God. Perhaps this life and freshness I’m experiencing has always been there. Maybe this life and connectedness has been numbed by the inescapable and yet sometimes self-created busyness of life. Or maybe the internal and external pressures in this life have had its own numbing impact. I sense much more though, that slowly the numbness settled in bit by bit as dreams dried up and seemingly vanished as if they were dust in my hand blown away by an unexpected wind. Perhaps these heart desires will not always be deferred; and possibly these dreams will not always remain shattered and may one day be resurrected.
What is interesting about pain and loss though, is its ability to unravel the threads of our life, and to quickly whisk away the rug from underneath us; while at the same time seemingly able to make us feel more in touch with our own heart, and in touch with the sadness, joy, and love in the faces of those around us. How does one explain this inextricable contradiction; experiencing pain, loss, and sadness, side by side with joy, love, and connectedness. Perhaps this is partly what “being human” means. Nevertheless, these moments, months, and years of pain and loss have created an unexpected renaissance in my own heart where I presently feel closer and more understood by God as a Father.
My prayer is that you experience, even if for a moment, your own renaissance where you feel connected, understood, and grounded in compassion for yourself in the midst of your own experience of pain and suffering.
As his dearly beloved, Father God understands us and the confusion of it all.
~ And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering. ~ Romans 8:17